Divorce can be a difficult situation – even more so when there are children involved.
Protecting your children’s vulnerable emotions should be one of your main concerns during the divorce process. Even if parents no longer love each other, they should hopefully love their children enough to work together on achieving this goal.
Children of any age may struggle to cope with the thought of their parents splitting up, which is why it is important to take the time to explain exactly what is going to happen during the divorce process.
Telling your children
Make sure both parents are present when the announcement is made. Try and agree on what you are going to say before confronting your kids in order to avoid arguments. It is key to make it clear that they are not to blame, that both parents still love them and that they will still have time with both of them.
It is not necessary to go explain minor details, like why you’re using London solicitors instead of professionals from your hometown for example, but it is important to answer any questions they may have as honestly as you can.
They might get upset, they might even storm off, but it is important to be as calm, reassuring and patient as possible at all times.
During the divorce process
It is often a good idea to regularly check how the children are feeling in the days and weeks after you’ve told them about the divorce.
No matter how stressful the divorce process proves to be, it is best to keep any arguments hidden from your children. Slating your partner directly to or in front of your children rarely does any good and can only prove to increase anxiety levels amongst your kids. Hiding your weaknesses might be tough but it’s the best way to protect your children from suffering more anxiety than they need to.
Try to spend extra time with your children. This will help both you and them feel better during what is likely to be a tough time for the whole family.
After the divorce
No matter how bad the fallout may have been after the divorce, it is almost always best for children to continue seeing both of their parents. Denying children access to their mother or father is only likely to result increased stress for parents and children and needless legal challenges.
It is best to approach children before you begin dating other people again to answer any queries or fears they may have.
Even if you feel a child is too young to understand or too old to be emotionally affected, it is always best to inform of them your divorce sensitively and thoroughly.
This is the best way to try and prevent them from being affected too deeply by a breakup.